I am always befuddled by the much ado that folks devote to topics to which they know little. I know that we kindly refer to those folks who know everything about sports but have never played one in their lives as armchair athletes. They tend to know everything that a high-ability athlete needs to do in order to make the best play — more so than any coach. Never mind that they have never played the sport and, if they did, well, would they be sitting on the couch or in their basement pit group barking out orders on the other side of the TV?
There is a new group of experts to add to the couch. Call them, arm chair athletic directors (ACAD). You see, they know everything about the psychology, sociology, policy and academics of athletes. However, they tend to get some things, well, twisted. In order to just help folks through their newly un-appointed positions, I have listed some things that ACAD’s might want to think about while directing their “make believe” athletic department.
10. Quit asking about how young is too young to recruit. There is a 12 year old in the physics department and he was ready for the challenge. One can also become a designer at the age of 9 and no one will ask them to repent or to wear sack cloth and ashes. You can go pro in many sports at a young age. Why not basketball or football? Playing a professional sport is not a crime.
11. Please quit being so concerned about athletes getting “paid.” Most people are paid when they perform a service or when they bring in large sums of money from performances. Call it funding or royalties because what they do generates significant funding for the university. And yes, some actually bring in way more than their scholarships. Wake up and walk into the 21st century. This is not your mama’s athletics anymore. They sell more than 25 cent boxes of popcorn.
12. Think about divesting athletics from colleges — specifically basketball and football ― since we are so concerned about their well-being.
13. Oh, scratch No.12, that would mean we would lose some money. Oh, but they are amateurs. Oh, but they make lots of money for their schools. But we cannot pay them, because they are amateurs. But they generate the money, lots of it. OK, well then, what do we do? Oh, yeah, in order to make ourselves feel better about exploiting gifted athletes, we keep saying, “Students first” in the bathroom mirror each morning. Then we can tap our ruby red slippers together and say, “There’s no place like home, Toto.” But, deep down we know that when we get back to Kansas, Auntie Em will tell us that we owe those kids and that Oz is a liar.
