When English Fields decided to continue her education at Rust College—a small, private, Methodist HBCU in rural Mississippi—she had no idea what kind of ride she was in for.
During her first stint as a student, at Alcorn State University from 2007-08, Fields was timid and not willing to engage in conversation about who she was, preferring to keep mostly to herself. By the time she stepped onto the Holly Springs, Mississippi, campus as a second semester sophomore in October 2014 after a few years out of school completely, Fields says she was beginning to “be more comfortable being me: Openly gay.”
But Fields’ experience in her first year at Rust has not been smooth, and, along the way, she experienced a lot more personal transformation than she initially anticipated.
For nearly the entire school year, Fields—who identifies as lesbian but says she likes masculine pronouns because they make her feel powerful—battled what felt like a restrictive environment at Rust. From an African Diaspora professor who cracked insensitive jokes to a Biblical Studies professor who insisted on calling her “ma’am” and “Ms. Fields” (Fields prefers “sir” or her own pronoun title, “Kidd”), she struggled with the idea of not fitting in and even considered transferring to another institution several times.
“It got to the point that I said I would return to Alcorn the following spring or, as advised by a professor I took at Alcorn, try the University of New Mexico,” said Fields. If anybody knows me, they know going to a [Predominantly White Institution] is not my thing. I set out to obtain my degree at an HBCU, and that’s my intended desire.”
It wasn’t just the professors; Fields said adjusting to peers was also a challenge.
“I’ve heard I’m known as ‘the big dike,’” she said. “They don’t know me nor my name (unless they look on my backpack) but just the ‘big dike.’ I don’t really pay attention to what people call me, especially if they do not know me, but I would hope that they would at least get to know me for who I am versus that small knowledge of me.”