I never intended to stay this long. But I found myself enjoying working as an administrator at the college I graduated from almost a decade earlier.
It was in 1990 when many institutions were experiencing diversity growth pains, the phenomenon when an increase in compositional diversity does not bring student satisfaction or a sense of inclusiveness and belonging. At the time, many students of color struggled to find their place inside predominantly White colleges, as chronicled in a 1994 study by Ruth Sidel. So too did LGBTQ, first generation, those of religious faith backgrounds, and other students whose lived experiences were not exactly affirmed during that period.. Not long after I arrived on campus, I sat down with a Black senior, who had been involved in the student activism that produced my position. It was a summer-like afternoon in early October. Students moved past the stately Romanesque style administration building on the way to classes and the library. Looking me in the eye, Kevin (not his real name) shook his head.
“Why would you want to come back here?” he asked.
I felt tension in his voice. He really wanted to know why I came back to work at a college still trying to figure out how to support Black students, how to make diversity more than a buzz word. He was skeptical.
“Are you here for us—or them?” he asked, pointing toward the window of the President’s Office, which was visible from the shaded area where we sat.
I listened intently as Kevin spoke his truth, a familiar narrative that I’d hear from countless students during my first months back on campus. There was often a love/hate relationship with the college. They had good things to say about the elite education they’d worked hard to earn, but the quality of campus life was a different story. There were stories about racial battle fatigue, the constant struggle to validate their admission, the daily microaggressions in class and dormitories. I understood how three years on a very white campus had made Kevin skeptical. I’d been there too.
“I came back because I think we can make a difference,” I finally said. “It may take some time, but we can start here.”
